How to tell if you are dealing with a Psychopath or a Sociopath? How to tell if you dealing with a crazy person…
Hi. My name is Raymon M. Powers and I have made some bad decisions and agreed to deal an acquaintance who became a "friend" (Shatto Maurice Lamont Brown) and an ex-wife who are people with sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies.
I have made poor choices when it comes to these people, and most recently a "friend" (Shatto Maurice Lamont Brown) who I was trying to help out. Most people you or I would meet or deal with aren’t necessarily psychopaths, but that could be because we would never date or deal with them enough for the traits to emerge. I think you have to make it past the "honeymoon stage", six months or so, to really know if you’re dealing with a sociopath/psychopath.
I had read the home webpage of Huffington Post featured an article entitled “Are you dating a psychopath?” I took it as a sign and decided to do some reading. I always figured sociopaths/psychopaths were people who lived in basements, devised plots to blow up buildings and choked cats or something. Surprisingly, this isn’t the case.
I have had my share of insane discussions and crazy conversations in dealing with people like this. Little did I understand that I didn’t learn my lesson after all the issues dealing with my ex-wife, and I tried to help a friend who I realize had his own issues and I guess I am a magnet for quasi-sociopaths and quasi-psychopaths. Sociopath or psychopath – they seem pretty similar. I roped the traits together for the purpose of this, and I use them interchangeably.
According to these traits, I was married to a full on psychopath for 8.5 years, went through a divorce process for 4 years after... And now have dealt with a "friend" "friend" (Shatto Maurice Lamont Brown) who exhibits these same traits. Seriously, the guy has disrespected me, my family, my friends, and continues to try to take advantage and manipulate the people around him, and he belongs in an institution. It’s refreshing to be able to put a label on it now. Lesson learned. When family and friends beg you to get away from someone – just do it and don’t ask questions.
So… are you dealing with a Sociopath or a Psychopath? Here’s a few common characteristics to help you decide and get the hell out:
o Sociopaths are some of the most beguiling people you’ll meet: Superficial charm oozes from their pores and they’ll have you eating it up. Sociopaths are well-liked by many, but often have few close friends. Sociopaths will shower you with stories about their friends and their past, but you’ll notice they are not in very close contact with these people. Upon meeting a sociopath, it’s likely they will be on their best behavior and have you fooled into thinking they are the best person ever, or a close friend. I had considered my "friend" (Shatto Maurice Lamont Brown) someone who needed help and a friend in need. I was wrong. As my feelings and thinking did, your opinions will change rapidly within a month or so when their true colors emerge.
o Sociopaths exude confidence: Initially, those who deal with or date a sociopath may find their confident attitude interesting, amusing, refreshing, or fun. Sit tight and after a little while you’ll discover that they are simply arrogant, narcissistic and think they are smarter/better than you.
o Lack of remorse or guilt: Sociopaths/Psychopaths can lie, cheat, hurt and use others without feeling the teeniest ounce of guilt. They lack empathy that a normal person would have. If you are dealing with or dating a sociopath/psychopath they will not feel obligated to integrity, be honest, or faithful. When they lie, no guilt is felt. If you are dating them, cheating will become a regular phenomenon. They are pathological story tellers and you will begin to see holes in their stories. If caught in a lie, they usually laugh it off as nothing, treat you as if you misunderstood what they said, or I heard things wrong, say they did not say that or twist it all around so that somehow it is your fault. They cannot accept responsibility for their own actions. No matter what they do – they will find a way to twist it around and place the blame on you. Nothing is ever their fault.
o Sociopaths lack emotion and exude coldness: Pour your heart out to a sociopath and it’s likely you’ll be met with an eerie blank stare, or a look from them like they do not know how to deal with the situation. If you’re lucky they may acknowledge for feelings for a moment, but it will be short lived. Very short lived.
o Manipulative: Sociopaths/Psychopaths are smart, cunning little fuckers. They know precisely what to say to get what they want. If you suspect something is wrong, they will make it seem as if you’re crazy. Sociopaths want nothing more than to take advantage of, manipulate or control you.
o Impulsive: Sociopaths rarely plan ahead. They will take quick action to indulge random whims. Excitement or self indulgence is craved 24/7. Their impulsive behavior and selfish behavior often leads to hurting people with no regret.
o Dark Temper: Sociopaths will have you walking on eggshells. You never know when the slightest thing will send them into a huge temper tantrum. I guess they enjoy the drama because they feel like it is an environment that they can control.
o Multiple personalities: Your "friend", partner, or person you are dating seems like two totally different people. One day, they can be sweet and social. The next day a switch gets flipped and they turn dark, upset, angry, or jealous for no apparent reason. Of course they won’t tell you why. Their mood swings become a vicious cycle.
o Obsessive control: In the case with my ex: A psychopath partner may become obsessive about knowing what you are doing at all times. If you miss a phone call by one minute, it could send them into a rage. If you talk to a member of the opposite sex – prepare to face the firing squad. However, they can do whatever they want. If you question it, they get angry. Psychopaths will go through your phone, hack into your email, spy on you and more. Even after you break up, they will devise ways to track you down. You may never be fully rid of them.
o Sociopaths seek to isolate their friends, partners, etc.: They will keep you from friends and family and make you feel guilty for spending time with others. Slowly, you’ll find yourself losing friends until your nut-job of a partner is all you have left. That’s exactly how they want it. It’s all about control after all.
o Secretive: Very, very secretive. You feel like they are always hiding something. And of course, they are.
o They will chip away at your confidence: Sociopaths are smart and know your weaknesses. The idea that you’re dating someone who treats you so poorly will begin to erode your self-esteem regardless.
o Your family and friends all want you to get away from this person.
I’m naturally attracted to boisterous, witty and overly- charming people. Could this be the problem? Am I a magnet for sociopaths and psychopaths? I’ve always known my gravitation towards crazy people was detrimental to my life. I guess I never realized that it is such a hard life lesson. However, all the people that I gravitate towards possess that same outgoing and charismatic personality. Ugh… I don't know maybe it's a pattern. A very bad pattern... Or maybe it is just a some bad experiences to learn from, and some unfortunate life lessons about 2 different crazy people that have entered my life.
Acceptance is the first step, right? I just need to be around people that love and care about me, my family, and my friends. This pattern must be broken. These people must be removed from my life and hopefully the lives of the people around me... My hope and my goal is to make sure that these type of people do NOT continue to hurt, manipulate, lie, cheat, steal or take advantage of anyone else.
Raymon M. Powers